Jobless Sheep say "Baaaa!" to Economic News

The recent announcement that Hungary's jobless rate is down as a result of a decline in the total employment figures has Hungarian sheep in a funk. Once they figured out the goofy math that resulted in this seeming contradiction, they were outraged that the government is offering no solution .

The report indicated, "The stats get even grimmer when you look at the percentage of people holding down a job: According to the KSH, only 54% of those between 15 and 74 are working, and just 61% of those aged 16-64. Meanwhile, nearly half of Hungarian currently on the dole have been looking for work for over a year, while the average length of registered unemployment period is now 17 months."

"It's no wonder we aren't reproducing," grumbled one unemployed ram. "Who feels like romance when the bill collector is at that door?"

Another ram complained, "Hungarian women are high maintenance. All they think about is money. Look at those Gabor sisters! They don't get near a guy unless he's got money to spend on them."

What's most upsetting to farmers and sociologists is that the group least likely to have a job is also the group most likely to reproduce -- those in their early adult years.

One farmer from South Trans-Danubia suggested that the government put age restrictions on jobs, favouring the youngsters until the economic and reproductive crisis is solved.

Mr. Pinter, shown here explaining the situation to sheep herders from the United States, insists that his sheep dating service continues to be the answer to the country's agricultural fiasco.

"If you'll look up that hill," Mr. Pinter told them, "you'll see dozens of eligible ewes vying for the affections of just a few depressed and dejected looking young rams. My online dating service is helping those rams make connections without any pressure. The ewes are initially attracted by personality rather than personal wealth. Once they later understand that the rams are having difficulty finding employment, they tend to be less judgemental."

Mr. Pinter continues to encourage hook-ups via LonelyHungarianSheep.blogspot.com rather than the traditional, more discouraging methods.

Magyar sheep farmers attack Microsoft Exec

Sheep farmers posing as students at Budapest's Corvinus University brought public attention to a plot by Microsoft (the company running Planet Earth) by pelting the company's CEO with eggs. The incident took place this week when Steve Ballmer visited the prestigious educational institute.


The farmers are protesting Microsoft as a result of rumours spreading throughout the agricultural community that the megalithic corporation has developed a new sheep using propriety DNA developed by Microsoft microneers.

"There is no truth to the rumour," he announced to the crowd, "that Microsoft plans to launch MicroMagyar Merino 2.0 to replace the existing version."

"Futhermore," he added, "when we do not introduce it, it will not be created with Vista."

Vista is responsible for shutting down computers throughout the world for no apparent reason, without warning. It is the software created specifically to prevent computer users from applying whatever skills they've acquired since they first acquired their Commodore 64's in the 1980's.

"The nicest thing about the sheep we haven't developed is that they're very, very tiny. You could put several hundred thousand MicroMagyar Merino 2.0's on the square of St. Stephen's Cathedral. Well, that's if you actually had them...which we don't, of course. And, if we did, we wouldn't be officially introducing them until Agro+Mashexpo in January 2009."

When asked why they haven't developed these tiny little sheep, Ballmer responded, "Because these little sheep breed like viruses on Internet Explorer. Wow! You should see 'em go! I mean, er...if we had them...which we don't."